“Play will be to the 21st century what work was to the last 300 years of industrial society – our dominant way of knowing, doing and creating value.” —Pat Kane, author of The Play Ethic How have you been playing? What happens when you have play in your life? How does play affect your work? Oh, so many questions. I would love to hear from you. stories@coachbenita.com is still open for your thoughts and stories. I am fortunate enough to be coaching Omani men and women leaders here in Muscat. In my opinion the Omani people are very heart-centered and this makes coaching a very enjoyable process. This getting lost in work and play invigorates me, opens me up to new possibilities. It is as if I once again have a new pair of eyes to see the world. The world is alive and brilliant, so many opportunities and possibilities. The people I encounter each day are stars—brilliant shining lights in the night sky. Each holds a wonder for me to discover and revel in.Outside of my work I continue to play. My recent playtime is screenwriting. I am taking a 10-week course on writing a screenplay. I am truly amazed at how much fun this is. I get to make up the characters, the scenes, and the actions; oh it is such great fun! I have met so many fascinating people in my lifetime and now I get to make them come alive through writing. Of course, I get to embellish their characters, which is quite exhilarating. One of those activities that I get lost in—time slips away! I find myself having to pull myself away from the writing. Oh what a feeling! (More on the screenplay in future articles- title: Dinner with Cathy.) Playing in Scotland When I first began coaching ten years ago, Thomas Leonard, considered the founder of the coaching industry, spoke about moving from the Knowledge Age to the Inspiration Age. I believe we are now in the Inspiration Age and play is how we will operate in the Inspiration Age.

Lessons in a Desert Crossing

I had the privilege to join an Oman Guide group on a desert crossing Jan, 19-21^st. It was amazing! www.theguideoman.com

Lesson learnt in teamwork, sales and leadership on the crossing. Fist, some statistics – approximately 75 4X4 vehicles, 15-20 of which were support vehicles, 123 people. These are the numbers as I best remember them. For a nominal fee you show up with your transportation and camping equipment. They lead you on a desert crossing, make sure you are safe and feed you. The food was excellent but for once it was not the main focus of my attention.

The trip is for anybody wishing to go - from expert to novice drivers! The support vehicles are volunteers; they seem to get a kick out off figuring out how to get people unstuck. Truly amazing to watch!

What struck me the most was how 123 complete strangers worked together when required. As soon as a vehicle was stuck the other vehicles stopped and came over to determine if they could help (or were they just gloating because it wasn’t them - this time! Ha ha). Even the expert drivers found themselves up to their axels in sand on occasion. We would await the support vehicle, the expert drivers and follow instructions. Sometimes the support drivers asked permission to drive your vehicle and they just drove it out. Other times they would direct a group of people to rock the vehicle sideways and direct the driver on what to do as progress was made. Often times it had to be a tow and if a tow didn’t work then a winch. We soon realized the best things to do if stuck was to wait until the expert arrived as you only seem to dig yourself deeper trying to get out. Reminded me a lot of driving in snow.

On the third day I was honored to be in the lead car. Mr. Mohammed Al Zadjali, was the leader and what an expert driver, besides being a very nice man with a great sense of humor. He broke the trail. This particular day was the day we attempted the big dunes. Ismaeel provided this next story. We were on the top of the first dune of the day. I was sitting on the dune watching vehicles trying to get up the dune. Ismaeel was taking pictures. A Hummer came roaring up the final leg of the climb and suddenly we hear a pop. His tire came off the rim! Boy, was he stuck in the sand. Ismaeel, just happened to be a sales manager for Jeep Wrangler and Dodge Ram. When the driver of the Hummer arrived on foot at the top of the hill, Ismaeel very calmly expressed his sympathy for the bad luck and gave him his card, saying if you ever decide to replace the Hummer, please give me a call! WOW! Kudos to Ismaeel- here we are literally in the middle of nowhere and the perfect opportunity presents itself. Many would have let this opportunity pass by but not Ismaeel, he was very professional and sincere. This made my day. Later I went over and congratulated Ismaeel and asked if I could share this story. He agreed. Can hardly wait to use this story in one of my sales training workshops.

Same day, different dune. Mohammed was trying to find a way to climb our third dune of the day. He had made many attempts but just had been successful….yet. On one of the attempts we got stuck, the vehicle was sideways and almost on its side, well it seemed that way to me as I held on so as not to fall onto my friend in the seat beside me. I looked at her , saw the look of terror on her face and collected myself. Mohammed, said to us - it is bad when the leader gets stuck, everybody rushes over to help. Everyone wants to help the leader. The leader has to be careful not to take too many risks. How true I thought to myself.

And last but not least, back to the nature vs. nurture debate. Mohammed shared that he has some drivers who have been with him for ten years and yet they still do not “get it”, yet some drivers “get it” right away. What is getting it? The ability and understanding of how to read the angles and sands to calculate your best route. Nature or nurture?

Nature – the dunes were beautiful and dangerous, simple yet complex.

Nurture – I nurtured my soul during this trip.

I find it difficult to find the right words to describe the desert so share these words from a Sufi teacher:

"When I think of the desert, I think of the desert's wildness, its gorgeous and terrible loneliness, it silence, its purity. I think of how in the desert you feel at once annihilated yet totally alive and present in all things around you and above you, as if you had become at once the sands stretching from horizon to horizon and the sky so vast and empty and still. And I think of what is written in the Koran, 'all is perishable except the Face of God..'The desert is the Face of god, the final mirror in which humans see their nothingness and their absolute splendor-in-Him’.”

Neuroscience - WOW factor

Exciting, fascinating, WOW! I have been reading “Your Brain at Work” by David Rock. The research done in the field of neuroscience in the past five years has been incredible. In his book, David Rock, has given me the science behind several of my life guiding principles.

1. My principle - write it down! I personally have experienced the power of writing things down and have shared this technique with my clients and friends. It is an amazing technique for remembering things, sorting things out and self-awareness.

How the Brain Works It was wonderful to discover the scientific reason this works. Briefly and in my simplified interpretation of Rock’s work, writing things down moves large amount of data from the pre-frontal cortex (which is energy intensive and has a limited capacity) to other large regions of the brain.

2. My principle -The brain is our most expensive real estate! Do not waste this valuable resource storing information, keep it organized and easily accessible for future reference. Yes, this is actually true.

How the Brain Works: the pre-frontal cortex which is our processing centre can get overloaded. Too much arousal means too much electrical activity in the pre-frontal cortex. Clear it out (my words) – Rock’s recommendations – write it down, take a walk. Read more about this in Rock’s book- fascinating techniques for discovering your “sweet spot” or being in the “flow”.

3. My principle - Sometimes we need to let ideas/thoughts cook for some time. Like preparing a good soup, add some ingredients and then let them slowly cook for several hours, the flavors integrate and boost each other. In the end you have a complety different taste then when you started.

How the Brain Works: Rock describes our thoughts as players/actors that come onto the stage (pre-frontal cortex) for processing. Some thoughts stay in the background and are called forward when needed; some are front stage, looking for their time on stage immediately. He describes a process called ARIA, Awareness, Reflection, Insight and Action for optimizing the processing power of the brain. At the Insight stage, there is a burst of gamma band brain waves, the fastest brain waves which signify brain regions communicating with one another. Insight is defined as recombining knowledge (the maps in your brain) in a whole new way.

Like the soup, there is a point where something new is created!

Note: these are my interpretations of Rock's work (,not necessarily Rock's words). Please read his book, How the Brain Works, to establish your own interpretations.

I have recently been struggling with a decision about my current employment. It has been a very difficult struggle; as Rock says, too many players on the stage and overload is the result, stress not clarity.

I have taken Rock’s suggestions to heart. Spent a weekend away in the mountains, star gazing and enjoying the peace and quiet. Started dancing again – Salsa and Argentine Tango. Dancing allows me to forget everything for a couple of hours.

Rather than travelling this Eid Al Adha holiday I have stayed in Oman. Time to catch up on some rest and some reading. Very nice!

Insights have been plentiful! I encourage you to find your unique way to clear the stage and allow the insights to emerge

Wonder what insights will come as I journey through the rest of his book? It is divided into Four Acts and I just finished Act One.

This connection between neuroscience and daily life is very affirming!

Creativity

No one imagines that a symphony is supposed to improve in quality as it goes along, or that the point of playing it is to reach the finale. The whole point of music is discovered in every moment of playing and listening. It is the same I feel, with our lives; if we are unduly absorbed in improving…we may forget altogether to live.
-Alan Watts

I found this quote on Lynda Klau's website, Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility. It immediately caught my attention and brought forward a question - How do we balance setting goals and living in the moment? Does one preclude the other?

I think not. I believe they must both be present. Without goals/dreams we wander aimlessly, blown by the wind and without living in the present we never realize the pure joy of being blown by the wind.

To me, this is not an either or question. We must have both but be unduly absorbed in either. The goals/dreams set the structure of our moments and the moments combine to make our goals/dreams. The symphony (our life) will reach a finale but do we enjoy the journey?

I have been reading about creativity in Scott Jeffrey's book, Creativity Revealed - Discovering the Source of Inspiration.

In the foreword he states "Creativity is intrinsic to the evolution of life. It is the manifestation of the hidden substrate of all existence, termed "consciousness". "

Scott Jeffrey invites us to a new paradigm of thinking, from the linear to the nonlinear. In the above quote, the linear is about the improvement and finale of the symphony and the nonlinear is about the moments of playing and listening. It is a shift from understanding a process to experiencing the object. Jeffrey proposes Old Word Thinking is cause and effect, we must be able to see it and measure it or it is not real. New world thinking, instead of one thing causing another, is unfoldment, emergence when conditions are appropriate.

In my work as a coach I am very conscious of the conditions we create and live in. What environment do you create at home? at work? with your family? How do you create these environments? I believe it is important to ask these questions, it is part of the unfolding of our lives. These questions allow us to adjust our lives to realize our dreams. But first the dreamer please!

Does the symphony of your life inspire you each day?

Adventure in Oman

Another delightful day in Oman!

This time it was a sea adventure. Just a reminder that Muscat is built between the Al Hajar mountains and the Gulf of Oman, 60 km long and 5km wide. So pick your adventure! Mountains, desert, city or sea.

This day I was delighted to be part of a sailing adventure put on by Oman Sail. What a joyous renewal! Sailing was a big part of my life in Saskatchewan, Canada for many years. I owned a small dinghy and spent many weekends and holidays sailing the numerous lakes in Saskatchewan. I remembered the bliss of the wind on your face and the smell of the waters. Although this time it was salt water!

My sailor's legs were a big unsteady but the passion for sailing and the sea were as bright and vibrant as ever.

Thank you Oman Sail!

Thank you Women's Guild for organizing the day!

Thank you Lois for the pics!

And next......a mountain adventure

This picture is taken from the ruins of the ancient village of Fanja, about 20 minutes from Muscat. What a view - date palms, the new village and the mountain!

I was invited to tour the remains of this ancient village with two locals and a tour operator interested in eco-tourism. One of the locals was a wealth of information on the area. Fanja is fed by natural springs from mountains and is lush and beautiful. The tour operator (a lady) and I took the opportunity to try out the local bath embedded in the mountain. It was a hot spring on a very hot day but was so refreshing! One of the ladies from the village provided us with sweet cool water from the mountain springs. It was delicious and a life saver in the heat of the day!

This may one day be the Venice of Oman!

Once again I am filled with gratitude for this beautiful country and the amazing opportunity to live and work here.

"All experience, to borrow an expression of the mystics, is bounded by the boundless. Every step on our journey adds to what we know but it also reveals there is no end to knowing."

James P. Carse, Breakfast at the Victory

It's harvest time and the dates are delicious! As the temps rise very high we are offered the special treat of fresh dates! Oh what an experience. For those of you in the West reading this blog here is a suggestion. A tasty treat from Oman. Wrap fresh dates in turkey bacon, a sweet and salty treat!

Living in Oman has offered many adventures in eating. In my latest book Man Oman: a Redhead in Arabia I share the following story:

Once, I went on a business trip to Salalah, about 1,000 km south of Muscat, but still in Oman. Salalah has about 250,000 residents. It’s rainy season lasts two months. The city gets more than a million visitors during that time, mostly from the Gulf countries and Europe.

The branch manager picked me up at the airport and was my host for the two days. At the end of the second day, after I had finished my interviews, we went out for lunch before heading back to the airport.

He drove to a special place – not a restaurant – where six men were working intently over a fire pit. My host was very excited to take me there. He said it was the best meat, the babies. I asked for clarification and he told me he was talking about baby goats. Okay – I could almost deal with that, would try and be a good guest and at least sample some of the meat. Just as that thought went through my head, didn’t he just have to go and point out that they were at that very moment bringing in another kid for slaughter? I looked, and there was the cutest little baby goat, wrapped up in a blanket, being carried to the slaughter room!

Inside I was screaming, but I remained outwardly calm. We waited quite a while for the meat to cook, then it was brought to us in a package of tin foil. My companion threw the package in the back seat of his SUV, and I thought I had been saved; I wasn’t going to have to eat it after all.

HA!

We proceeded to a restaurant, and he brought the package of meat in with us! He asked for an extra plate and began to happily eat the meat. Several times he invited me join him. After the third or fourth time, I accepted and somehow choked it down. I said I simply could not eat anymore, and my fellow diner accepted that.

I can still see that cute little baby goat….

This was truly being 10 times bolder for me!

Inspiration

"I’m writing a book right now called Inside Out: Discovering Your First Person Point of View, and I think what I’ve been able to do in the last year for myself is to quiet the noise and to listen to the whispering voice on the inside of me. I’ve often told people that that voice only needs to whisper because it’s powerful. Power does not need volume to have an audience, and the audience that is really important right now in our lives is the audience of one – you. " Phillip Gornail

I came across this piece from LinedIn - The Get Inspired Project by Jim Reese. I was inspired and thought you might find it inspiring also.

Being quiet to be powerful struck me as intriguing. I realized that the moments in my life when I have felt connected to a power most often occur when I am out in the quiet with nature. Kayaking across a still lake on a warm sunny afternoon. Having my breath taken away by the beauty of a garden or a mountainside covered in flowers. Listening to the waves crash on the seashore. Listening to the call of the loon. Sitting in the sunshine reading. Watching the clouds float across the sky.

The whispering voice in me caressing my soul, instructing, reassuring and inviting. All is well with the world at these times and I come back to the busy city life renewed, refreshed and inspired!

When do you hear the whispering voice inside of you?